Rage Against the (Self-Checkout) Machine: Getting Mad, Getting Over It

March 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm (AWLA (PP), blogging, creativity, Emerging Leaders 2009, humor, personal, philosophizing, professional development)

Raise your hand if you’re never angry about anything that happens at your library, ever.

That’s what I thought.  I’m open to the possiblity that there’s a librarian out there who never gets upset.  I’m betting, however, that most of us who  toil daily in the vineyards of ignorance occasionally feel like throwing somebody out of a window.  For that reason, I think it’s high time we talked about coping with anger in the library.

It’s pretty clear to most sane persons that actually throwing somebody out of a window is completely unacceptable.  However, we often accept the fallacy that it is also inappropriate to have such feelings.   Feeling angry, after all, would be unprofessional, right?

I call shenanigans on that notion, and so does Sam Horn. Observe:

It’s time to understand that anger is a natural response to our rights being trampled.  It’s actually the way our emotional system is supposed to work….Anger is the original warning system for letting us know our line’s been crossed.

Unfortunately, many of us have been intellectualized out of our anger.  Anger isn’t pretty.  It can lead to yelling and screaming, which isn’t “nice,” so we mentally ratchet it in rather than run the risk of letting it out and saying something we regret….

It’s time to understand what a terrible price we pay believing we don’t have the right to be angry.  Believing this is tantamount to believing we don’t have the right to feel aggrieved.  It means we believe that if people hurt us, we’re somehow supposed to take the high road and continue to respond rationally – - no matter what.  In other words, be a saint

Take the Bully by the Horns (160-161)

I don’t know about you, but I’m no saint, not even of the Boondock variety.  Professionalism applies to behaviors, not feelings.  And while it is incumbent on you to behave well in a professional situation, you are doing yourself lasting harm if you are dishonest with yourself about your feelings.

Not that we have really good models for that in our culture.  On television and in the movies, it’s easy to face your pain.  A montage of scenes in which the heroine suffers nobly, perhaps backed with a torch song that will become all the rage at karaoke bars coast to coast, will suffice to express the difficulties inherent in processing her feelings.    In sitcom context, following a series of bullet points, most likely coupled with a cutesy acronym for “anger,” will take away our hero’s pain and lead him through to the other side.  The lure of the quick fix is tempting, but the truth of the matter is that Microsoft does not make an Anger Patch, and the only way out of it is through it.

All that being said, I can offer you a few things I’ve found to be true, based on years of bittersweet experience.   Additional input from my elders and wisers is gratefully accepted as well.

Struggling is okay

Somewhere along the line human beings got the notion that suffering is a contest.  The rationale goes something like this:  if I am not starving, buried under rubble in Haiti or Chile, suffering from some incurable disease, or living in a van down by the river, I am not truly suffering, and should shut my pie-hole and be grateful.

Suffering is not a contest.  Say it with me, people:  Suffering.  Is not.  A contest.  Suffering is simply the human condition, and we all get our share to carry.  This is true everywhere in the world, and the library, despite its inherently magical nature, is not exempt. 

Those of us in service professions appear to be even more susceptible to the fallacy that we are not really suffering, because we frequently deal with people who suffer a great deal more than we do.  Here’s the thing, though:  sometimes library work is emotionally exhausting, and the sooner we get more comfortable saying that out loud, the better off we’re going to be collectively.

Think about it.  Patrons sometimes scream at us.  Colleagues behave in ways that make us want to gouge out our eyeballs.   Budget cuts are a constant source of worry and concern.  And organizational politics are a can of worms I don’t even want to purchase, much less open.

In the bigger picture scenario, many of us are currently unemployed or under-employed.  Constantly having to justify libraries’ existence in a culture where football players make millions of dollars for playing a game, and just about anybody can be on television is enough to send us right round the bend on a good day.  And, to add insult to injury, we’re still broadly stereotyped either as frumpy shushers, hipster sex kittens, or socially inept, virginal males. 

To put it in the vernacular, BLEARGH.  If none of that ever bothers you, ever, you are a far better person than I am, and you are cordially invited to school me in your ways of steely resolve.  My mom will gladly pick up the check for that, I’m sure.

While library workers are, indeed, more fortunate than many, it is disrespectful of the suffering we DO feel to try to short-circuit the emotional process by dismissing our feelings because they aren’t as painful as somebody else’s.  Librarianship is sometimes hard, all values of “hard” being relative.  And that’s okay.

You will not always feel the way you do right now.

I can’t lay claim to any special powers, and there’s quite a bit about life on this earth that I don’t know.  One thing I can tell you with absolute confidence, however, is that you will not always feel as miserable as you do right now.  Whatever is upsetting you will pass, and you will look back at yourself in amazement, wondering:

a) Wow, why was I so upset about that?

or

b)  Wow, how did I manage to keep from throwing someone/something/myself out a window?

T.S. Eliot once sagely observed, in his classic poem “The Hollow Men,” that life is very long.  Every moment that you breathe in, breathe out, and don’t do anything rash is another moment closer to the time when your suffering will be a distant memory.  One way or another, you will cope with whatever’s bugging you.  I promise. 

Speaking of coping… 

Action trumps inaction

You know what’s guaranteed to defeat you?  Inaction.  So if you’re angry, do something constructive, or at least something different, even if it has absolutely no relationship to whatever is ticking you off.

In the short term, you’re probably going to want to focus on small, immediate actions you can take to blow off steam in a professional manner.  Some of these can include:

  • Going for a walk (outside is preferable, weather permitting)
  • Rocking out to music you like (headphones for politeness, please)
  • Writing up your feelings in a journal / word processing file (make sure to shred and/or password protect afterwards)
  • Reading something that will make you laugh.  While this will vary greatly based on personal tastes, those of you who fancy train-wreck memoir might enjoy Rhoda Janzen’s Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.  If suffering WERE a contest, Janzen would win the “bad divorce” divison hands-down.
  • Gamers are cordially invited to engage in a spirited session of Robot Unicorn Attack.  If slaying innocent fairies with rainbow lasers that come out of your head, and grinding silver stars to a pulp with said mighty rainbow powers, doesn’t make you laugh at least a little, you should probably just tell your boss you’re sick and just go home.
  • If all else fails, just go home.  Say you don’t feel well and get out of there.  You do get some sick time, right?  Of course you do.   Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, so use it!  This does not make you weak, or a slacker.  This makes you both strong and smart for recognizing when to get the heck out of Dodge.

These are helpful techniques you can use in a pinch, but remember:  there are no quick fixes.  Taking action means getting to the root of your anger and figuring out how to keep yourself from going to the windowsill once too often.  I mean, there’s anger, and then there’s anger – before your struggles get out of hand, try addressing your feelings with these time-honored classics:

  1. Talk with somebody.  Depending on what you’re going through, “somebody” could be a trusted colleague, a friend, a family member, or a counselor.    The reason I say “talk with” and not “talk to” is that the goal of this conversation is not mere venting (if venting actually solved problems, anonymous/pseudonymous library blogging would’ve died a quiet death by now).  A good rant can be a fun conversation starter, but it certainly can’t end there.  After you’ve explained your problem as you perceive it, listen carefully to any constructive criticism you get, answer any questions your conversation partner has, and seriously consider any solutions s/he has to offer.
  2. Explore your options.  Many times we feel like there’s nothing we can do about the situation we’re in.  The truth of the matter is, we always have choices.  We may not always LIKE the choices we have, but there they are.  Write down all the choices you have, from “quitting your job” to “going back to school” to “discussing this with my boss” to “starting a goat farm.”  Write as fast as you can, and don’t censor yourself, with the goal of spending either ten minutes on this task and/or filling up a whole page.  Once you have a list, go back and circle the ones you could actually live with.
  3. Make a plan.  Pick one of your choices and create an action plan for implementing it.  Make the steps as small as they have to be for you to get comfortable making the change.  Depending on your level of anxiety about change, these steps could be extremely small…and that’s fine:  change isn’t a contest either.   For example, let’s say you’re not quite ready to leave the profession, but you are ready to apply for a job somewhere else.   One person’s action plan might involve working on their resume or asking people to be references.  Another person’s plan might start with picking an area of the country s/he’d be willing to live in, or spending 5 minutes a day imagining how her/his life could be different.  No matter how fast or how slow you move, you’ll get where you’re going as long as you’re moving.
  4. Implement your plan.  This is the hardest part of all; the best plan on earth will just sit there on paper and look pretty unless you put it into action.  One way to make implementing your plan eaiser is to pick an accountability buddy, a trick I learned from Pete Bromberg during Emerging Leaders ’09:  Tell somebody what you’re going to do, and when you’re going to do it.  Then arrange a date and time for that person to check in with you to see if you actually did it.  Just knowing that somebody’s holding you accountable is enough to light a fire under you.  Your buddy should, of course, be somebody who genuinely cares about you, not somebody who’s going to shame or embarrass you with your own goals.

Hopefully by now you are feeling just a little bit better, and are ready to take that final step of cheering up.  Notice how cheering up is the last step, and not the first:  really, is there anything more annoying than being told to cheer up?  But if you are honest with yourself about your feelings, and make a genuine effort to work through them, you just might find that things are (maybe) looking up.  With the heavy detritus of angst out of the way, it’s easier to focus on life’s fundamental goodness.  Kittens, for example, are cute.  Canada is home to many lovely trees.  Thai food is insanely tasty, and sunrises remain breathtaking, whether you’re seeing them as you first wake up or right before you go to sleep.

Relax.  There’s still a “Kumbaya” embargo in effect at Alchemy, in perpetuity.  But life is fundamentally good, and while anger is a part of life, it can be dealt with creatively and professionally.  Don’t let whatever is getting you down become an obstacle to everything you can achieve.  Take control of your options, get help when you need to, and try to make your way through to the other side.  I’ll be rooting for you, and I imagine your family, friends and peers will be doing the same.

The alternative, after all, isn’t pretty:

Don’t be like Howard Beale:  get mad, but then get over it.  The life you save could be your own.

The really astute readers among you will have noticed that there was no AWLA(PP) post in Feburary.  I’m writing a post about that called “Excuses:  An FAQ.”  I’m also starting to think it’s high time I tell you about how I became a librarian in the first place, hence “Cranky Bodhisattva in a Long Black Dress.”  And, because I can, you’ll also be getting “Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire, Vampire Hunter, Failure.”  That last is a working title, of course.  Everybody knows Honest Abe wasn’t really a vampire….or was he?

Coffee, then refdesk.  A bientot.

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Loose Ends, Looking Back, Looking Forward

December 28, 2009 at 6:54 pm (creativity, Emerging Leaders 2009, ethics, fundraising, humor, innovation, leadership, philosophizing, professional development, reviews, Uncategorized)

Another year of Alchemy closes out with a potpourri post, in which I briefly address the million bees buzzing in my brain instead of writing thoughtful, well-reasoned posts about one or two of them.  If something here sparks your fancy for further rumination, by all means, take the ball and run with it.  I really should get off my duff and slap a creative commons license on this blog, but for the moment, let’s be old-fashioned and just take my word for it:  all my crazy ideas are open source.

Loose Ends

Although November’s long gone, NaNoWriMo remains a source of ideas and inspiration for further mischief.  The concept of big, fun, scary ideas interests me, in particular – what are your big, fun, scary library ideas for 2010?  Or ideas in general that will produce a happier you in the library?

I wrote several drafts of a rant polemic on coffee and libraries, but ultimately trashed the idea.  I do believe that particular horse is out of the barn, but I also don’t think further discussion would add anything to the discourse.  Except to say that posters asking people not to eat and drink in the library should probably have graphic photos of vermin on them.  After all, if you must have such a policy, you should probably make your reasons why crystal clear.  I would love to see somebody hang a huge blow-up poster of a rat or a giant cockroach, with the caption:

“This is why we don’t want food and drink in the library.  Any questions?”

Make it and photograph it, someone, please?  First one to make it and post it somewhere gets dinner, on me.  Seriously.

In other news, Pittsburgh’s library cardholders collectively owe CLP one million dollars in fines. Ever since I read that, I’ve been walking around with this movie clip on my mind:

A million dollars isn’t as much money as it used to be, for certain. But it’s a lot of money in library funding terms, which raises the question: how on earth do you get that back from people who don’t feel they should have to pay? If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen a circulation clerk abused over this issue, I would pay down the debt myself (and send said circulation clerks off on a long vacation in a warm place with tasty foods). Thoughts and insights on this particular library conundrum are sincerely welcome.

On a happier note, Pittsburgh is the fourth most literate city in the country. Though we be but little, we be fierce. Misunderestimate us at your peril. It’s challenging sometimes to hold your head up high when the Washington press gang snickers about you, or people leave rude, ignorant comments on articles about Pittsburgh in the NYT. However, it just goes to show that cream rises to the top, and if you keep your mouth shut in a dignified fashion, you get to make the “HA-ha” face somewhere down the line.

Finally, if you get a moment, check out CLP’s latest AuthorSheet for Allen Ginsberg. AuthorSheets are the phenomenal in-house reference guides we produce to help students find literary criticism that doesn’t turn up easily during a catalog search. The Ginsberg sheet contains a special treat – a two-part video about “Howl,” made by Karen Lillis, a recent Reference Department intern and shiny new MLIS-holding librarian. Congratulations Karen! And make sure to listen for Don and Renee, whose praises I sing ad nauseam (partially because I’m biased, but mainly because they are well-deserved).

Looking Back

This was an extremely challenging year in a number of different ways.  In hindsight, however, it appears character-building.  I imagine this sort of mental resilience is akin to the post-childbirth glow that convinces women to have additional children despite the fact that they clearly suffered some great pain.  I am, of course, open to being wrong.

There were some great moments, though.  Emerging Leaders was a phenomenal experience.  For the first time, I feel like I’m really getting a handle on planning and executing a productive meeting (much to the relief, I’m sure, of everybody who has to sit through them).  And I finally made time to read The Hunger Games, which blew me away with its brilliance; I had read reviews and spoilers, and knew what was going to happen, but I didn’t know the how of it…and the how is what kept me glued to my chair for the three feverish hours it took me to devour the book.  It goes without saying that I’m awaiting my copy of Catching Fire with bated breath.  I’ll be launching a campaign to get Hunger Games on the next round of voting for One Book, One Community, both for the quality of the writing and the potential for lively discussion (and, possibly, a food drive, given the relevant social statistics).

So, with apologies to Dickens, I can say without a trace of irony that it really was the best and worst of times.  I’m not really sentimental, though, so I’ve already savored the good stuff, rubbed some dirt on the tough stuff, and walked it off.  Yes, I’m that annoying person who is all fired up about the possibilities and potentials of a shiny new year….

Looking Forward

Which brings us to upcoming writing topics.  I’ve started researching and reading for the August Wilson Leadership Academy, and I agree with those commenters who pointed out that following is something you have to talk about if you’re going to discuss leadership.  The first post I put up in this vein will probably be an explanation of my scattershot methodology, with some disclaimers.

I’ve also decided to forge ahead with my other crazy idea for 2010, code name “Anastasia Ask Your Alchemist.”  I do not, however, want to give away the game too soon, so that’s all the info you’re going to get.  Suffice to say it’s going to involve audience participation, and I’m very excited about it because it has the potential to be awesome, while, paradoxically, embodying the capacity to stink like a dead woodchuck underneath the porch.  I think, sometimes, for me, half the fun in trying a new thing is the possibility of failure.  After all, with failure (and some time) usually comes an hysterically funny story to tell at some point down the road…

Before either of those topics, though, I want to talk a little bit about my latest task force appointment – I’ve been asked to serve on the ACLA task force for the Future of Libraries, and I’m extremely psyched up about that.  Not only is the group composed of some excellent people, but the reading and discussion we’ve done so far has been both useful and thought-provoking for me.  Ergo, my first 2010 post will deal with the future of libraries, but not in a “Where’s my jet-pack?” kind of way.

A very happy new year to you all, and thanks for reading along with me in 2009.  You’ve been splendid – see you next week!

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Re-entry. Also, character.

July 21, 2009 at 5:42 pm (23ThingsN@, collection development, Emerging Leaders 2009, ethics, leadership, philosophizing, professional development, reviews, Uncategorized)

Re-entry

The work doesn’t stop just because you go to a conference!  Between catching up on what I’ve missed, and the inexorable forward progress of projects and meetings, I’ve been a busy bee – far too busy to blog. It’s been a great exercise in applying all those leadership lessons from EL. Quietly and subtly, of course. :)

Today, though, with my official ALA report complete and good progress made on most of my major projects, I can afford a quick end-of-day check-in.

The key item on which to report is that this is the last week of 23 Things ‘n @, and while we’ll have to wait a bit for the exit survey results, the comments on this week’s post are, for the most part, positive. Here are my gut instincts on what we could do differently next time to improve the learning experience:

  • Cap registration.  Following 250 blogs and trying to make sure everybody felt supported / listened to was pretty darned exhausting, even for four people as awesome as the members of Team Celery Stick.  Smaller cohorts would allow us to give people more individualized attention
  • Offer various “flavors” of “thing” for each skill level.  Example:  When talking about YouTube, have the absolute beginners FIND a video, have the fairly comfortable folks EMBED a video, and have the really advanced folks MAKE and POST a video.  No value judgments – just OPTIONS.  A lot of really highly-skilled people dropped out, and while the program sort of wasn’t aimed at them, we have a responsibility to make sure our advanced learners get even more opportunities to advance.
  • Recruit graduates of this cohort to help teach the next cohort – not only would this spread the work around, it would give graduates of the first cohort the chance to enhance their skills by passing them on.

Just some gut thoughts.  I’ll have survey results/excerpts for you soon, I hope.

Character

It’s funny how, sometimes, there’s a theme to everything you do in a particular week.  During this ALA re-entry period, the theme in my work life appears to be character.  Or maybe it’s just because, for professional reading, I’m knee-deep in The Speed of Trust. Whatever the case may be, I’ve been paying particular attention to situations where integrity and other elements of character have come up, and been more aware of my own actions.

You’ll pardon me if that sounds cryptic.  There’s nothing specific I can put my finger on – I’m just noticing these things more – again, possibly an aftereffect of Emerging Leaders.  There seem to be a hundred thousand opportunities to demonstrate character/integrity at work, every day, especially during challenging economic times.

The Pennsylvania legislature, for example, continues to astound me with its blatant disregard for electronic resources.  Yesterday they passed a version of H.B. 1416, the most recent budget proposal, that completely eliminates funding for AskHere PA and the Pennsylvania POWER library.  Although it would be easy to hit the ceiling and break out the pitchforks and torches, I am determined to remain classy.  Ergo, rather than begin any partisan mudslinging, I’ll simply let you compare all the budget proposals on hand and draw your own conclusions. Needless to say, if this version of the budget ultimately triumphs, it’s a huge blow to library service in PA…and it drives me crazy that electronic resources are seen as “extras” or “pork” in the budget, when they’re actually a lifeline to thousands of people statewide.

But it’s not just the big issues; character is revealed in the little things, too. It’s in the way we talk to our colleagues, the way we share (or don’t share) information, the way we seek (or don’t) for win-win solutions. Everything that comes up in a day is grist for the mill, an opportunity to be classy or not so much.

And here’s the kicker: how do you choose to behave when there won’t necessarily be a reward for good behavior? Salary freezes and benefit cuts are the new normal, so it’s not like there’s a financial incentive to behave with integrity. If you take away the monetary rewards, and the future looks uncertain, what’s your motivation to show up, do a good job, treat your colleagues fairly, etc.?

As ever, I have no answers. I simply ask prickly questions! Some people have religious beliefs to guide their choices. Others have personal codes of morals or ethics that aren’t necessarily grounded in a higher power. What criteria shape your choices? What does it mean to you to be a librarian with integrity?

On a slightly more fun closing note, I now have 1/2 an intern to help me with my tasks! I say “1/2″ because she’ll be splitting her time with me and someone in another department. She’ll be here until the end of August, and she’s already been a huge help to me today – finished mailing out those Mango bookmarks, started weeding our LibraryThing account, and got a crash course in collection development with some catalogs I brought back from ALA (independent publishers, mostly).

From a leadership point of view, having an intern is fun-scary – I had to do a lot of planning to make sure she’d have things to do, and I want to be conscious of her having a good, well-rounded library experience (and not just do all the LAV scutwork – not ethical!). But it’s mostly a great opportunity to model the profession for somebody who is actually studying something else, and not necessarily going on to be a librarian.

So, I’ll probably have more to say about that as the month goes by. For now, though, I’m bound and determined not to blog until I get caught up on these darned EREC oommittee meeting minutes. We are now two meetings behind, and it’s not fair to blog when I’ve got actual accountability things to finish. What an incentive to be done, though!

Oh, and once it’s published, I have a thing or two to say about the last book review I wrote, and about book reviewing in general. You’ll see why…..

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ALA 2009 Recap

July 14, 2009 at 3:32 pm (ALA Annual 2009, conferences, Emerging Leaders 2009, fundraising, innovation, leadership, Library 2.0, management, professional development)

And we’re back to what passes for normal!  Here is a quick recap of other ALA goings-on.

Emerging Leaders Salon

This was a post-emergence session designed for us to plan out our next steps for getting more involved in ALA.  Although I haven’t yet updated the portion of the wiki devoted to this, I know what I’m going to write, which is half the battle.  My main interest is learning more about ALA Council, because it is either praised or reviled, with very little middle ground.  If there’s a polarized element in our profession, I want to be there as an independent embedded journalist, as it were.  So, you’ll see random posts from me in 2009-10 about ALA Council, how it works, etc.

Salon was also the opportunity for fellow Emergent Christine Ayar and I to stand up and make our modest proposal pitch:  given the state of the economy, we thought it would be a nice gesture if the 2009 Emerging Leaders class sponsored somebody from the 2010 class.  There were enough of us in the cohort that a sponsorship could be raised with a modest individual contribution, but the prospect of standing up in front of people and asking them for money made me a little nervous! 

Much to my relief, the response was positive, and many people were willing to make contributions on the spot.  And now that I’ve had experience with the sort of thing our development folks do all day, albeit on a miniature scale, I have a whole different perspective about it.  If I really want to keep fundraising on my list of competencies to develop (and I really, really do), I have a lot of research to do, and a lot of advice to get.  Best of all, though, it makes me feel really good to be part of a group that also resonates with the idea of giving back out of the good fortune we have received.

Street Smarts A Plus

I attended “Street Smarts A Plus:  Developing a New Generation of Urban Public Librarians” – you can read the handouts here, but they only contain one speaker’s notes – I hope that changes, as it was an intriguing panel indeed. Most fascinating to me was the info about the Queens Public Library’s Page Fellows program, to which I’d give you a link, but can’t really find one source that does it justice.

I’m keenly interested in the future of libraries, and this panel dovetailed with our EL group’s project. We’re committed to trying to attract the passionate, versatile diverse people urban libraries are going to need. What I would’ve liked to hear more about, though, were the challenges of an urban public library, and how to prepare for them. I suppose I probably should’ve gone to the “Shooter in the Library!” panel for that, but I had a conflict.

At any rate, the slides that are available are very good! Here’s hoping the other speakers choose to update.

Emerging Leaders Subcommittee Meeting

Seeing a trend here? I just can’t let it go. In fact, I’d really like to serve on this subcommittee as part of my 2-year committment to EL, but I need to a) formally ask, and b) find out if I can participate virtually, at least for one of the two 2010 conferences.

A number of other ELs were there, and we discussed different ways to change and improve the program.  It was interesting to hear other perspectives I hadn’t considered, and extremely happymaking to hear the young lady from NMRT (whose name I do not recall, more’s the pity) say that NMRT will sponsor automatic NMRT membership for everybody selected.  This is what ALA 2.0 should look like, I think:  divisions and roundtables and committees working across boundaries to advance common interests!

Because I’m me, you know I’m wondering about ways to bring the EL experience down to state and local levels.  I think I want to get through this play first – lines to learn and all – but September seems like a good time to start having brainstorming sessions with folks who might be interested.  Leave some room for another LAV crazy idea in your Outlook calendar. :)

Exhibits/ Vendors

I attended at least one vendor breakfast, and hit the exhibits with a number of super-secret assignments to perform.  Vendor relations is yet another one of those things that I never thought I’d do – it doesn’t come up in library school, and it didn’t hit my radar until I came up to Reference, so I’m coming to it a ways into my career.  Still, it’s been valuable and educational, and I learn something from every single conversation, both what to do, and what not to do.

My favorite vendors are the ones who respond to customer input, are easy to reach, and understand that I’m not always available to take their calls.  In fact, the most valuable part of dealing with vendors is, again, boundary setting:  being able to express what you do and do not need, learning to say no in a kind way, and being able to communicate that yes, you do want to talk to them…just not right now!

Sales is a difficult job, and dealing with salespeople is part of many librarians’ lives.  I think it would be great if, profession-wide, we talked about this a bit more.  If this conversation is happening, and I’m not in on it, can somebody point me to it?  Please and thanks!

So, there’s that.  It’s going to be an interesting fall around here, that’s for certain.  I wouldn’t have it any other way…

When next we come back, I’ll have descended from the clouds and returned to earth.  Library world can be very airy.  It’s good to soar…but it’s time for your alchemist to get grounded.

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Emerging Victorious

July 11, 2009 at 12:43 am (23ThingsN@, ALA Annual 2009, conferences, Emerging Leaders 2009, leadership, personal, philosophizing, presentations, professional development, theatre, Uncategorized, website redesign)

For the win, as the kids say.  I’ve got the certificate and the pin.  I have emerged. 

It’s more like leveling up in an RPG or PVP.  Congratulations elven mage!  You have earned the requisite number of hit points.  Here are  more skill points to spend in the areas you see fit.  Also, have some tokens and gold.

All joking aside, it went well.  I’ve taken video of our poster session on the Flip camera I borrowed from IT.  Now I just have to figure out how to upload it.  That may have to wait until I’ve come home.  I love the Flip, though, and will be saving up for one asap.

The bulk of today’s workshops were spent reflecting on our experience, what we’ve learned, and where we’ll go from here, so I thought I’d touch on those elements briefly.

The EL Project Experience

I deliberately chose a project that was not in an area I normally work in:  marketing.  It’s something I’m very interested in, but don’t get nearly enough of an opportunity to dabble with.  The group’s task was to re-prioritize the marketing plan for LibraryCareers.org .  The original marketing plan was created by a prior Emerging Leaders’ group in 2007; our task was to reassess their work, in light of the time that had passed, and re-rank their priorities.  Of course, being the overachievers that we collectively are, we decided that it would be cool to actually start some of the tasks and try a few things.  You can read all about our work at our project page on the EL wiki.

If you’re cynical, you might be asking yourself, “Er, why are we trying to encourage people to become librarians right now?”  Even I can’t candycoat the notion that, in the short term, things aren’t looking so hot.  I, however, am committed to library science for the long haul.  People will be needed to keep libraries going.  Fewer people, probably, I”ll grant you.  But if that’s the case, then we want the absolute best and brightest.  Anyone who would like to engage in a spirited discussion on those points is cordially invited to comment.  You might want to check out my comments on librarians’ salaries, too, in my report – we have a LONG way to go, and we should NOT stop fighting for better pay  However, we HAVE made progress.  The data is there.  It just needs to be organized and presented in a comparative fashion, so folks can see the gains, however modest.

What I’ve Learned

This is, I think, the part that doesn’t mesh neatly with what the program’s creators intended.

I applied for Emerging Leaders during a very challenging period of my life.  I had just experienced two very personal losses, and my confidence was at ebb tide.  I was engaging in what has been a habitual pattern for me:  trying to compensate for personal difficulties with yet another professional success.  I thought that if I could just Be More Brilliant (patent pending), it wouldn’t matter quite so much that I had failed so miserably in other areas of my life.

This project, while utterly fabulous, turned out to be the assignment that convinced me I had to take better care of myself, or I was going to burn out in a hurry.  Between my normal project workload, the slowly blossoming library budget crisis, and the larger-than-expected enrollment in 23 Things ‘N @, the last thing I needed was one more project. And yet, I had taken it on.

So, basically, I had two choices. I could quit, or I could figure out once and for all how to take better care of myself so that I would have the strength to deliver on all the promises I’d made.

I started with sleep. 8 hours, whether I needed it or not, every night. That was a habit that took a while to build, but I could feel the difference once I’d created it. LAV with adequate sleep is so much more effective than LAV without sleep.

Next, diet and exercise. I’ve been vegetarian for about 1.5 years, and have been cutting back on dairy to see if I can transition to a vegan diet and still be healthy. I made a new rule for myself: I have to either walk TO work or walk home FROM work – no exceptions, no excuses. And I began a yoga practice that began paying off almost immediately, especially since it’s mostly restorative yoga – the last thing I needed was one more activity where I was striving instead of nurturing.

The next step was to add more fun things back into my life, so that I was more than my job. This was really really hard for me. I’m so very much in love with what I do, and it’s really easy for me to take on more and more library work–both paid and volunteer–because it means so much to me. But other things mean a lot to me, too, and I’d been skimping on them to the point that, when I started adding them back, I didn’t realized how much I’d missed them.

So, I’m writing a lot more now. Plays mostly, some poems. I’ve entered some of my work in a short play festival – I’ll let you know how that turns out – and I’ll be starring in a play a friend wrote, to fulfill a theater residency he won. I’ve become seriously artsy-craftsy, both at things I already enjoyed, like needlework and decoupage, and things I’d never tried before, like painting and drawing.

The result of all this personal tinkering is that I’m a lot more interesting to be around, I think. I’m also a much more effective librarian: I’m managing my time better, getting things done more efficiently and effectively, and taking a lot more of the normal daily stress and drama in stride (those of you who miss the dramatic goat farm declarations will be reassured to hear that they haven’t vanished entirely). I feel a million times more confident than I ever have, because I’ve gone a long way toward solving the biggest problem I face: how to balance LAV the fiercely brilliant and creative librarian with LAV the ridiculously lovable, comically flawed human being who, like everyone else on this dotty blue planet, is simply trying to make her way the best she can.

Quo Vadimus?

So, now what?

That’s a good question.  I honestly feel now like I could do absolutely anything.  So what do I want?

I”m pretty happy where I am, doing what I’m doing.  Pittsburgh rocks, Washington press corps snickering aside.  I’d like to stay here for the next 40 years, work my way up the food chain, and get the big gold watch when I finally retire.  It remains to be seen whether or not the economy will support this endeavor.

That being said, what I really want to do, regardless of what titles I may hold or official responsibilities I may have, is to create environments where people can be their best selves.  I want to help people become the best they can be.  I want to help them achieve their goals and then to go beyond those goals to tap potential theydon’t even realize they have.  I want to inspire, motivate, and induce side-splitting laughter when appropriate.  I want to be a good listener, the kind of person a colleague can come to when s/he needs advice.  I want to call shenanigans on bad behavior and take concrete steps to make it better.

Mostly, though, I want to be a good person, ethical and fair, kind and wise and loving.  If you can do that, I reckon, everything else falls into place exactly where it should be.

And with that, having discharged my official conference duties, I”m exercising the right not to blog.  I’m going to visit the exhibits, and see some panels, and attend some meetings, and reunite with classmates and old friends, and talk to random people on shuttles and in coffeeshops in the hopes of making new connections.  I’m going to walk around Chicago and soak up its utter fabulosity, and I’m going to start memorizing my lines for my play.

Mostly, though, I’m going to enjoy having emerged.  I make rather the fetching butterfly, if I do say so myself.

I’ll fight wih that video footage next week.  Take care, and be well.

Yrs, etc.,

the incorrigible alchemist

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10 Reasons to Apply for Emerging Leaders 2010

June 15, 2009 at 5:45 pm (Emerging Leaders 2009, humor, leadership, management, personal, philosophizing, professional development)

In that very long pause between entries, I’ve been sending out Mango care packages, trying to keep up with our 23 Things ‘N @ crew, and all sorts of other librarian tasks that keep me hopping. As promised though, here is my post about why my public library peers should consider applying for the 2010 Emerging Leaders cohort. Instead of the thoughtful, inspiring essay I had hoped to pen, you get this annotated list, which mixes the serious and the frivolous.

  1. There are not nearly enough public library folk in the program!  I have some theories as to why this might be so – chief among them is the way promotions are earned in various types of libraries.  We public folk don’t have to apply for tenure, nor do we have to do all sorts of publication-immersion things to beef up our vitae.  In fact, participating in programs like this is perceived by some as a waste of time.  Thus, by default, most programs of this sort become academe-centric.  Probably unintentional, but Not Good if we’re talking about future ALA leadership – everybody should have equal voice and vote.
  2. It is good to stretch out of your comfort zone.  You might not think you’re a leader.  You might be perfectly happy where you are, doing what you do.  But if you’re not scaring yourself a little with your professional development efforts, you’re probably not reaching far enough.  Take a risk!
  3. You will learn things about yourself and your capabilities.  Being part of the 2009 EL cohort has taught me a lot, and bolstered my confidence enough that I’ve been taking some other risks in both my professional and personal life.  These risks, I might add, have paid off in spades, and life is altogether more lovely and interesting than it was 12 months ago.  Wouldn’t you like to see if the same thing happens for you?
  4. You will network like crazy and love it.  Listen to the introvert when she tells you:  spending several days with a group of passionate, ambitious librarians was like drinking a pot of coffee all at once, and I can’t wait to see them again at Annual.
  5. You will work on an interesting project.  Yes, yes, I know: you’re up to your eyeballs in work already.  Me too.  But you will have the opportunity to choose a national-level project that interests you, and work on something that could affect the world outside your neighborhood.  And that’s really, really cool.
  6. You will learn, from the inside, a little more about how ALA works.  For most of us, ALA is that great mythical winged beast up in the sky that does things and says things and publishes things, and every other year or so, we visit it.  What ALA really is, though, is an organization made up of lots of cool people trying to accomplish cool things.  You should come meet some of them and see how they roll.
  7. Pittsburgh needs to represent.  There are some mighty talented new librarians in this county, and until we can get our collective heads together and design our own local leadership training program, we need to take advantage of every opportunity we can get to learn, grow, and show the rest of library world just how much we have to bring to the table.  It’s great about Lord Stanley’s Cup and all, but there’s more to this town than sports.  It’s time we got over our inferiority complex and showed off a little.
  8. You will get to give a poster session at ALA annual 2010.  Don’t let those poster-making and presentation skills from library school go to waste!  Seriously, do you know how hard it can be sometimes to be accepted to present at the national level?  Programs like EL make it a little easier to get you and your ideas out there.
  9. You’ll get the opportunity to serve on an ALA committee.  Now now, don’t roll your eyes.  You get to CHOOSE what kind of committee work you want to do, and believe me, there’s a lot to pick from.  You might even choose to serve on the committee that plans EL, to make it even better next time around.  No matter what you’re really interested in, there’s an ALA committee that tackles it, so you’ll have the freedom to pick something that would be meaningful and fun for you.
  10. Because it’s there.  Now, granted, I’m a little biased on this one, because I’m the kind of person who would rather do a thing and regret it later than not do a thing and always wonder why.  But honestly, life is short.  If an opportunity comes your way, why not try for it?  What do you have to lose, really?  Just don’t start singing “Climb Ev’ry Mountain,” or I’ll have to turn this blog around without a stop for ice cream. :)

You may have some questions, which I will gladly field.  To learn more, though, you should also look at the Emerging Leaders wiki, which has information about the program, the projects, and a link to the online application. You will need two letters of recommendation, and the deadline is 7/31/09, so start thinking about who can best sing your praises….

If I get anywhere near the blog for the rest of this week, we’ll be talking about ethics – woohoo! Don’t get too excited, though – you should see my desk…

Ah well. Take care, and hopefully we’ll talk soon!

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Working Harder AND Smarter – Thursday Update

May 28, 2009 at 4:35 pm (23ThingsN@, blogging, collection development, databases, Emerging Leaders 2009, leadership, Learning 2.0, news, professional development, social justice, traditional library services, Twitter)

Did I say Wednesday?  That didn’t happen, clearly.  But, rather than let this blog become a bluesy litany of “where does the time go,” I’ll confine myself to a quick project update:

Collection development:  The one sane thing in my workday.  It’s nice to go through NYTBR and see you already have all the hot nonfiction either in the collection or on order.  Score!

Eleventh Stack:  Also holding steady.  Hit count is slightly down, but still above last year at this time.  It also mirrors last year’s slight decline.  I don’t mind fewer readers over the summer, as long as it’s part of a larger pattern.  Still, all the more reason to sit down and think of ways to kick it up a notch..

23 Things N’@:  Week 4 is all about wikis, and everybody’s happy!  The range of experience and abilities continues to educate me on how we can do this better next time.  Definitely a move to a tiered-activity system is in order, IMHO, something along the lines of beginner/intermediate/advanced, so that people have options to choose from according to their experience/comfort level. That being said, holy project success!

Twitter: I have mixed feelings about how this is going, and would like to write more about it at length.  Long story short, it’s an easily managed, low-maintenance project, but I don’t know if it’s achieving our objectives.  More time may be called for.  We shall see.

Database Stuff (CLP):  We haven’t met for a while because our new quarterly renewal schedule has made the committee process more efficient.  It’s time for 3rd-quarter renewals, though, and a look at 1st-quarter stats.  Plus, me being me, I have some wild and crazy ideas to throw at the committee to see what they think.  Secretly I want a database promotion task force.  I will pay for jackets that say “Database promotion task force,” if given free rein. :)

Database Stuff (EREC/ACLA): Good news!  The deal went through, and the county has purchased a subscription to Mango Languages.   Our patrons really miss Rosetta Stone, and for the life of me, I still don’t understand WHY they chose to stop selling the database to public libraries.  We are hoping, however, that Mango will fill this critical gap – language learning is very popular here, and the wait list for materials is very, very long.  We’re working out the hookup kinks as we speak – stay tuned, because you know I’m going to try to learn about seven languages myself. :)

Oh, and all that above about task forces and jackets?  Add a blog and multiply by ten, and you’ll get an idea of what I’d love to achieve at the countywide level.  Girl’s gotta dream…

Emerging Leaders:  You’re probably wondering why I have barely discussed this at all.  I’ve been meaning to, but now I don’t have to, really, because the fine folks at In the Library With the Lead Pipe have spread it all out for you in a nutshell.

Emerging Leaders has been like boot camp. I am getting a lot out of it. I am not sure that what I am getting out of it is exactly what the program planners intended, but such is life. :) It’s difficult to capture the zeitgeist of this kind of experience in medias res, so I’ll probably not even try until after annual, when it’s all over and done with.

Alternative Media Task Force/Event Planning: My other ALA project! The group process on this particular project has been amazing. We are putting together the Alternative Media Reception / SRRT 40th anniversary celebration, and it’s going to be awesome. Stay tuned for the official announcement, because you’re really not going to want to miss it.

And just because it’s not nearly busy or exciting enough around here, guess where the next G20 summit is going to be held? It’s going to be one crazy summer at Alchemy, so stick around…bonus points if you can identify the Sports Night references in this post…

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Tours and Learning Styles. Also, horn-blowing.

March 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm (Emerging Leaders 2009, humor, leadership, Learning 2.0, Library 2.0, philosophizing, professional development, traditional library services, Uncategorized)

Tours, practice and philosophy

One of the many hats I wear here at CLP Main is tour guide.  I’m in the regular tour-giver rotation, and my number does not come up nearly often enough.  Today, however, I was lucky enough to show a group of ESL students from a nearby university the many things our library has to offer.  There’s nothing more gratifying than hearing people say, “Libraries HAVE this?” or “You can do that ONLINE?”

Some of the materials that really interested them were:

All of this made me think about how people learn in different ways, and how important it is to have many different materials and access points in a library.  I think sometimes the “technomage vs. traditionalist” battles we wage in library world are fueled in part by a fear of being left out.  Traditionalists worry that it’s going to be all-digital, no-more-books, and that they’ll cease to be represented.  Technomages feel they’re not being listened to, and that their new ways of thinking and learning aren’t being respected.

Just a broad, sweeping generalization of a theory.  It seems to me, though, that, in the end, all the arguments we have come back to basic, old-fashioned things like listening and respect.  Are we advocating so loudly for our own interests that we’ve stopped listening to what our “opponents” have to say?  Are we determined to have our way at all costs, and write off our detractors as people who “just don’t get it”?

To learn more about just one credible theory on learning styles, click here. To see virtual tours of CLP Main and some of its branches, click here.

Tooting one’s own horn

Today, in my blogreader, I stumbled across a number of posts on the Shovers and Makers award, which you can give yourself at any time. Lest I be written off as a dour, humorless naysayer, let me state right up front that I find the concept hysterically funny, and would claim my own spot there except that I’m much happier snarking at the fringes of library world, and I get enough attention as it is, both in person and online. :)

One concern I have, though, is that getting any kind of award or recognition from “the establishment” appears to be frowned upon. That can’t be entirely a sour grapes proposition – not with so many fabulous Shovers and Makers ready to step up and assert how bodacious they are in their own right, without waiting for an award. But when did it become such a bad thing to get an award?

Think about it. There are millions of books published every year. Some of them get awards. Should we stop giving out book awards because every book is fabulous in its own way? Methinks not. The whole purpose of giving anyone or anything an award is to indicate a special level of accomplishment. It’s NOT a statement that “the rest of you suck.” It’s a statement that this book, this program, this library, this librarian….went above and beyond.

Just another something to think about. If you want praise and recognition in this life, you have to get off your behind and seek them your ownself. Some people do it through formal channels. Others do it in grassroots ways. And both should be valid ways of seeking recognition and acceptance.

I’m a little biased, obviously, since I’m part of the Emerging Leaders cohort this year. However, I’m a big fan of the “go for it” school of professional development. If there’s a hill, I’m going to climb it just because it’s there. Maybe when I get to the top I’ll want to be on a different hill, but I’ll never know unless I try.

Yes, I am still thinking about books and reviews (and reading books for reviews). Your patience is much appreciated. :)

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Midwinter Monday Miscellany

January 27, 2009 at 1:03 am (ALA Midwinter 2009, conferences, Emerging Leaders 2009, leadership, Library 2.0, management, professional development, social justice, wikis)

Today’s sessions included:

ALA Recruitment Assembly

Some of the Emerging Leader projects, including my team’s initiative, are tied to the Assembly’s work, so I thought it would be good to show up and see how they operate.  We discussed the various team projects, and I gave a summary of our team’s initial efforts.  I really enjoyed hearing about one team’s work expanding the recruitment wiki, a tool ALA members can use in their own recruitment efforts or in conjunction with their community partnerships.

Do you recruit people to librarianship, or to ALA? It’s something I love doing, mostly because I believe in libraries and library workers, and all the things we can do. Things don’t look great in the short term, to be certain. If, however, you pull back and take the long view, a world where information keeps expanding exponentially is a world that’s going to need a lot of information professionals. And you can’t have professionals without the word “profess,” which would be my first pick for a word to replace “recruitment.”

At any rate, here’s a semi-hypothetical question for you: if you had five minutes to talk about libraries and librarianship, what would you say? Would you be willing to say it on video? In a podcast? Would you prefer to write a humanifesta? What’s the best way to get the word out about libraries and librarians?

Dialogue With Directors Discussion Group

Ever wonder what directors, managers and administrators are thinking?  This discussion group was an interesting peek into the minds and thoughts of upper management, and if you think you’re too far removed from those concerns, you’re underestimating the value in understanding how people at all levels of your organization think.

Most of the discussion centered around the job-hunting process, which makes sense.  It’s good to know just how the rules and politics change once you reach a certain level of achievement.  Public library directors, for example, are hired by boards, and are expected to do different things than, say, middle managers.  Still, being a director seems so far out of reach at the moment; I found the following general advice most useful and helpful for the here and now:

  • Take on extra projects, especially when times are tough
  • Seek out good mentors
  • Make people your passion, because leadership/management are about supporting people
  • Create a list of skills you want, then seek out projects/opportunities to build those skills
  • Conduct informational interviews with people who have the kind of job you want
  • Be able to say no to opportunities that aren’t right for you
  • Be willing to pitch in and get your hands dirty, no matter what level job you have

SRRT Action Council

I thought this was going to be the membership meeting, but apparently that was a typo in the program – member meetings are only held at annual.  It worked out well, though, because I got to spend more time observing parliamentary meeting procedure and learned about a number of cool SRRT projects in process.

For example, there’s a resolution that went to Council Forum tonight suggesting that ALA start a “One Book, One Conference” project.  The resolution specifically indicated that a book devoted to Palestinian concerns (a few titles were suggested) would be a good selection, considering the current conflict in Gaza.  This is a controversial notion, but the point of SRRT is not to be popular:  it’s to raise questions and offer a dissenting view.  And without its dissenters and freethinkers, organizations become stagnant, stale, unable to change and grow. 

Another development I’m looking forward to is SRRT’s upcoming experimentation with OPAL for virtual meetings and task completion.  Social justice and technology – like chocolate and peanut butter, they’re just better together.  If you’re interested in alternative media; hunger, homelessness and poverty; GLBTQ issues; feminism; the environment, or a host of other social concerns, visit their page and see if this is the ALA slot that’s right for you.

We’ve covered a lot of territory over the last few days, in an attempt to shed some light on as many different parts of ALA as possible.  I remain amazed at how we’re all working toward the same goal – effective libraries – but use different skills, tools, and philosophies to achieve it.

What’s your role in your library?  Where do you feel like you’re doing the most good?  What tasks are you drawn to naturally?  Do see membership in a professional association as something that enhances your career, or your ability to serve?  Both?  Neither?  What roles and functions of library service are you happy to leave to others?  Your ever-curious alchemist wants to know!

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Emergence, evolving. Also, opportunities to learn and grow.

January 26, 2009 at 2:29 am (ALA Midwinter 2009, conferences, creativity, Emerging Leaders 2009, ethics, innovation, leadership, Learning 2.0, Library 2.0, management, philosophizing, professional development)

Day three of the Midwinter whirlwind continues!  Truly, the best January 25th ever.  Here’s why:

Emerging Leaders Subcommittee

Can you tell how much I believe in this program?  I attended the subcommittee meeting because, having benefited from Emerging Leaders, I’d like to pay it forward on all levels.  I’ll be writing a report for RK, obviously, and vague plans are afoot with some of the PA ELs to offer our experiences to the PaLA folks planning the state leadership program.   But helping at the ALA level would be an immediate way to give back, so I screwed my courage to the sticking place and went to the meeting.

It was made of awesome.  Why?  Because one of the first things that was decided was that, starting in 2010, the Emerging Leaders program will be open to library workers who do not hold an MLIS.  This is a huge step toward diversifying the profession, I think – everyone can be a leader, even if a decision about the degree hasn’t been made yet!  Some people can emerge just fine on their own, but others need the structure and the push, and that support should be available to everybody.  Who knows?  It could be just the encouragement a person needs to go GET the MLIS.  But if not, that’s okay too.

Don’t think I won’t be coming after certain members of my reading audience and “strongly suggesting” they apply.  She said, not looking at any two people in particular (IY and RA).

At any rate, watching meeting procedure one more time was very instructive for me in my ongoing efforts to get better at meeting dynamics.  And being present with people who really want to see library workers succeed inspires me to go home and be a leader, albeit in my own quirky fashion.  Remember when I said I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do next with my career?  I not only have a much clearer picture now, but a better roadmap for how to get there.

LITA BIGWIG Interest Group

Blogs, wikis?  I’m interested!  I was also mistaken, but in a very good way.  The group has actually evolved beyond its initial purpose, and does a lot of cool things I wasn’t aware of.  So I did what you do when you’re a stranger in a strange land:  I listened, and learned.  A lot.  The group is made up of smart, passionate people who have big ideas, the group hierarchy is flexible, and they make it really easy to get involved – check out Your BIGWIG for more details.

Listening to the discussion, though, made me conscious of how much I have to learn, and reminded me that if I’m feeling uneasy about the learning curve, some of our patrons and colleagues must be completely mystified. Ergo, I’m finally ready to take that tech-bodhisattva vow: we’re all going to the brave new world together, or I’m not coming. :)

Speaking of Opportunities…

Those of you who have been to conferences before know that sometimes the best opportunities for growth and development come in the gaps of unscheduled time when you serendipitously meet people.  The whirlwind of breakfasts, lunches, dinners and coffees with both new friends and old has reminded me more than once these past few days of an Edith Wharton novel, in a very good way.

If you’re smart, I think, you learn a little something from everybody you come in contact with, from the person who serves your coffee to the committee chair in a field wildly different from yours who ends up sharing a table with you in the convention center causeway.  It’s really easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of your job and not see the bigger picture.  Every single person I’ve talked to so far has helped me renew my committment to library work, and am ready to come home and communicate that excitement through concrete action, knowing that I’m part of something larger than my own library, something that can help me help my peers make the library better.  I win, my colleagues win, patrons win, everybody wins.

But we’re not done just yet.  Another report tomorrow night, if I can.

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