Laptop “Sexy Back” Interlude

Last week, for science, I gave up using the internet, and most other media, for a whole week.  You can tell by the speed of my re-entry I didn’t miss it much (and that being on vacation for a week means tons of makeup work to do). 

I do plan a more thorough critical analysis of the experience at some point.  However, to tide you over until I can piece my thoughts and notes together, here’s some footage of a gorgeous laptop that has the potential to bring sexy back to library science:

Make sure your speakers are on, too.  Because nothing says “Hellooo gorgeous new technology!” like a little smooth jazz.  Your normally sanguine alchemist just developed a holiday wish…

The rolltop is the brainchild of Orkin Design; click around a bit and check out some of the other cool things they’ve come up with!

How to Keep the Light On

Kudos are in order for everybody involved in the Keep the Light On Levy, one of 30 successful library levies in Ohio this election season.  Mahoning County residents obviously have their priorities straight when it comes to library funding, but the phenomenal effort exerted by the library’s supporters was, I’m sure, a key role in the levy’s passing.

What made this campaign so delightfully awesome? Let us count the ways:

  1. The perfect slogan.  Keep the light on.  Could it be any clearer?  Mood, imperative.  Focuses on the positive.  Uses one of humankind’s most primal metaphors, light, implying warmth, growth, safety, knowledge.  Sheer genius.
  2. Gorgeous web design.  Love the simple primary colors.  Love the inclusive photo on the front page that reflects the diverse makeup of the Mahoning Valley.   Love the simple box arrangement that makes the page easy to navigate.  Ditto on the tabs at the top.
  3. Patrons are front and center.  Two of the first things you see there are “The People’s Blog” and “Real Quotes From Real Library Users.”  The scrolling list of library supporters is a nice touch, too, letting people see how much they’re appreciated.  The only thing that could make this even better is moving the library usage calculator up higher, so people could see and use it more easily.
  4. Transparency.  As you navigate the site, you will see funding issues explained in a clear, concise fashion.  The FAQ, in particular, explains where library funding comes from at the state and local levels, what cost-saving measures the library has already tried, and how much money fundraisers and other revenue-generators actually raise.  Most importantly, the FAQ details what cost-saving measures the library has already taken, and what consequences would occur if the levy doesn’t pass.  Here, in my opinion, is the money quote:
  5. Levy FAQ 6. What effect has the loss of 31% of State funding had on Your Library?  Thirty members of Your Library staff had to be laid off. Funding for books and other materials dropped dramatically. The entire staff, including the Director, took wage cuts. The library was forced to reduce hours at all locations.

    Emphasis mine. Everybody. Took. Wage. Cuts.  Wow.  That is definitely one way to tell people that you are dead serious.  Would you take a wage cut for your library?  But I digress:

  6. Good use of social media/web technologies.  Content on YouTube.  Strong Facebook and Twitter presences.   Including PayPal as a donation option.  An e-newsletter.  Clearly this group “gets it” when it comes to reaching out to tech-savvy patrons and including them in their advocacy efforts.
  7. [Aside:  Yes, I'm biased.  You can take the girl out of Youngstown, but you can't take the Youngstown out of the girl.  And honestly, why would you want to?]

    What insanely cool, awesome thing are you doing to rock the advocacy boat at your library?  Leave a comment telling me about your creative/unusual “save the library” endeavors, and you’ll be eligible to win a copy of Keri Smith’s This Is Not A Book – I just happen to have stumbled into an extra copy, and I can’t think of a better way to reward hands-on advocacy than with a hands-on, not-a-book destructo-journal.

    Leave a comment by 5 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 6, 2009 to be in the running. And thanks in advance for everything you do to keep the light on in your libraries!

    You know what’s almost as important as keeping the light on? Lightening up. Methinks my next post is going to be both fun and silly, because, quite frankly, there’s been a dearth of that around here lately. Stay tuned.

In Praise of Silence (But Not Shushing)

Think you of the fact that a deaf person cannot hear. What senses, then, do we lack that we cannot see and hear another world all around us?”

–Frank Herbert, Dune

The reference room is quiet tonight.  The sound of my fingers flying over the keys is probably the loudest, although there are other typists.  Readers rustle pages.  Pencils skitter across notebooks.  Occasionally someone asks a question, and your alchemist tries to answer in her indoor voice.  Call it 4′ 33″ 2.0, if you will.  Just don’t call it a scandal, or a sign of irrelevance, because it’s actually quite beautiful, if you open yourself up to it.

There have been a number of high-profile news articles lately about old-school vs. new-jack libraries; excitement and razzle-dazzle vs. “musty” books, and people with “strange attachments” to them.  I ask, once again, why we must have an either-or library.  I wonder why we cannot have both.

I am, as ever, biased.  My craving for silence makes Jean Valjean’s bread-lust look downright tame.   But we are now, for the most part, hyper-connected, 24/7, and working with technology makes me grow weary of it, occasionally.  It is challenging, sometimes, to drag myself away from the tweets, the status updates, the never-ending flow of information and hype, and carve out space and time for quiet reflection.

What would we hear, I wonder, if we were more open to and accepting of silence in our libraries?  Is it possible that the silence that’s become so reviled and scorned of late has something to teach us?  That it gives shape to the sounds?  What if we had libraries with warmer, more animated spaces for the extroverts and cooler, quieter places for the introverts?  Just because you noisy lot outnumber us 3 to 1 doesn’t mean we don’t get a vote!

Perhaps that’s a stretch.  Still, the concept of a media fast, as articulated by Julia Cameron and Gregg Levoy, is starting to sound awfully attractive to me.  One week with no newspapers, no internet, no texts, no tweets, no cheeps, no beeps, not a single lux-ur-ee.   Status update:  unplugged.  Achievement:  serenity? 

Let’s take that heretical thought and stretch it a wee bit further:  could you go 40 days, say, with no e-mail, no cell phone, no emerging technologies?  Would you feel alienated, disconnected?  Or would you trust that the news you needed to know would find you?

A moment of silence, for silence, please.  It’s an endangered species in a loud, crazymaking world.  I am all for progress in the form of cheerful, welcoming spaces, and our libraries should most definitely have those.  I would argue, however, that excising our remaining quiet sanctuaries is equally unwelcoming.  If the user experience is meant to be paramount, then that should include all users, not just the ones who prefer noise.

I know, I know.  Worst librarian 2.0 EVAR!  My defense is that I’m aiming for 3.0. :)

Have the rowdy or restful weekend of your choice, and we’ll talk again soon.

Indeed A Stage: Librarians and Theater

Well, that was fun!  But, all good things must come to an end.  I really enjoyed being on stage again after — yikes! — twelve years.  I suppose it’s less than that, given that I performed at Friday Nite Improvs for a few years. But it’s been more than a decade since I had to memorize a script and put on multiple shows in a weekend.  I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until I started rehearsing, too.

At this point you might be saying to yourself, “Well, dear, that’s very sweet and all, but shouldn’t you go back to being a grown-up now?”  I suppose I should, rather.  Still, there are plenty of grown-up, sophisticated library bloggers about–I’ve decided that I’d much rather be the holistic type who tries to convince you that things like theater and improv could actually be good for your career.

Consider the reference librarian.  S/he frets and struts an hour or two upon the refdesk, then is no more (presumably s/he’s in a back office somewhere, ordering books, attending meetings, ripping her/his hair out, etc.).  S/he has scheduled entrances and exits, and when s/he’s at the desk, s/he has a role to play.

Occasionally these roles are scripted; more often, they’re improvisational.  You have a situation/location (the reference desk) and a relationship (librarian/patron).  Although there are a number of different shapes the conversation could take (Where’s the bathroom?  Do you have Jane Eyre? Does this reference book make my bag look fat?), you have absolutely no idea what any given person is going to say to you, and you have to be ready to respond in the moment.

One thing I love about improv is its reliance on “Yes, and.”  In the best improv scenes, the partners roll with the reality of the situation no matter how far-fetched it becomes.  “Did you steal a kidney from the transplant truck? ”  “Yes, and I wanted you to see it first–happy anniversary, honey!”  Hopefully nobody is bringing transplant organs to your desk, but they are bringing you a lot of other transactions where “Yes, and” is an appropriate response.  For example:

“Do you have The Castle of Otranto?” Yes, and you might also like The Mysteries of Udolpho, Northanger Abbey, or The Monk!

“Is there a bathroom on this floor?” Yes, and I’d be happy to show you where it is.

“Can I take books out of this section?” Yes, and nearly all of the other books on this floor are available for checkout, too.

“How many items can I take out at a time?” 50, (yes implied) and that total includes 10 DVDs, 10 CDs, etc.

The skeptical among you might be wondering, “Okay Tallulah Bankhead, what about those of us who don’t work in public service?”  Just because you don’t work directly with the public doesn’t mean you’re never going to be asked to give a presentation or, at the very least, speak in a meeting.  In fact, the amount of public service you do seems to be inversely proportionate to the number of meetings you must attend (I’d like a grant to study this — wouldn’t you?).  Why not get over your fears by trying out a few improv games?   At the very least, your next staff meeeting / training will be the one your colleagues will discuss for years to come.  “Remember back in the summer of aught-nine, when Tallulah had us play ‘Freeze’?  Good times!”

One shameless omission from both lists is “Questions,” in which the scene partners can only speak in queries.  This is a lot harder than it sounds, but a great way to break your brain out of its usual channels and stimulate some creative thinking.  And isn’t that something else we Librarians 2.0 are supposed to be doing?

Future posts will, I promise, be more “normal,” but I think the most important thing my return to the stage has taught me is that the boundaries between work and home are a lot more porous than most of us imagine.  After all, it’s not like we completely shed our personalities when we step into our offices–decorum might suggest we keep certain things under wraps, and tact will always be a huge part of professionalism.  Still, we are who we are, quirks, personalities, interests, and all.  I’m in favor of a holistic paradigm of library science, where who we are outside of our offices can feed and nurture the kinds of things we do inside of them.

Just a theory.  What sorts of things do you do in your leisure time that sustain your workday persona?

Back later this week with more whimsical thoughts…

ALA 2009 Recap

And we’re back to what passes for normal!  Here is a quick recap of other ALA goings-on.

Emerging Leaders Salon

This was a post-emergence session designed for us to plan out our next steps for getting more involved in ALA.  Although I haven’t yet updated the portion of the wiki devoted to this, I know what I’m going to write, which is half the battle.  My main interest is learning more about ALA Council, because it is either praised or reviled, with very little middle ground.  If there’s a polarized element in our profession, I want to be there as an independent embedded journalist, as it were.  So, you’ll see random posts from me in 2009-10 about ALA Council, how it works, etc.

Salon was also the opportunity for fellow Emergent Christine Ayar and I to stand up and make our modest proposal pitch:  given the state of the economy, we thought it would be a nice gesture if the 2009 Emerging Leaders class sponsored somebody from the 2010 class.  There were enough of us in the cohort that a sponsorship could be raised with a modest individual contribution, but the prospect of standing up in front of people and asking them for money made me a little nervous! 

Much to my relief, the response was positive, and many people were willing to make contributions on the spot.  And now that I’ve had experience with the sort of thing our development folks do all day, albeit on a miniature scale, I have a whole different perspective about it.  If I really want to keep fundraising on my list of competencies to develop (and I really, really do), I have a lot of research to do, and a lot of advice to get.  Best of all, though, it makes me feel really good to be part of a group that also resonates with the idea of giving back out of the good fortune we have received.

Street Smarts A Plus

I attended “Street Smarts A Plus:  Developing a New Generation of Urban Public Librarians” – you can read the handouts here, but they only contain one speaker’s notes – I hope that changes, as it was an intriguing panel indeed. Most fascinating to me was the info about the Queens Public Library’s Page Fellows program, to which I’d give you a link, but can’t really find one source that does it justice.

I’m keenly interested in the future of libraries, and this panel dovetailed with our EL group’s project. We’re committed to trying to attract the passionate, versatile diverse people urban libraries are going to need. What I would’ve liked to hear more about, though, were the challenges of an urban public library, and how to prepare for them. I suppose I probably should’ve gone to the “Shooter in the Library!” panel for that, but I had a conflict.

At any rate, the slides that are available are very good! Here’s hoping the other speakers choose to update.

Emerging Leaders Subcommittee Meeting

Seeing a trend here? I just can’t let it go. In fact, I’d really like to serve on this subcommittee as part of my 2-year committment to EL, but I need to a) formally ask, and b) find out if I can participate virtually, at least for one of the two 2010 conferences.

A number of other ELs were there, and we discussed different ways to change and improve the program.  It was interesting to hear other perspectives I hadn’t considered, and extremely happymaking to hear the young lady from NMRT (whose name I do not recall, more’s the pity) say that NMRT will sponsor automatic NMRT membership for everybody selected.  This is what ALA 2.0 should look like, I think:  divisions and roundtables and committees working across boundaries to advance common interests!

Because I’m me, you know I’m wondering about ways to bring the EL experience down to state and local levels.  I think I want to get through this play first – lines to learn and all – but September seems like a good time to start having brainstorming sessions with folks who might be interested.  Leave some room for another LAV crazy idea in your Outlook calendar. :)

Exhibits/ Vendors

I attended at least one vendor breakfast, and hit the exhibits with a number of super-secret assignments to perform.  Vendor relations is yet another one of those things that I never thought I’d do – it doesn’t come up in library school, and it didn’t hit my radar until I came up to Reference, so I’m coming to it a ways into my career.  Still, it’s been valuable and educational, and I learn something from every single conversation, both what to do, and what not to do.

My favorite vendors are the ones who respond to customer input, are easy to reach, and understand that I’m not always available to take their calls.  In fact, the most valuable part of dealing with vendors is, again, boundary setting:  being able to express what you do and do not need, learning to say no in a kind way, and being able to communicate that yes, you do want to talk to them…just not right now!

Sales is a difficult job, and dealing with salespeople is part of many librarians’ lives.  I think it would be great if, profession-wide, we talked about this a bit more.  If this conversation is happening, and I’m not in on it, can somebody point me to it?  Please and thanks!

So, there’s that.  It’s going to be an interesting fall around here, that’s for certain.  I wouldn’t have it any other way…

When next we come back, I’ll have descended from the clouds and returned to earth.  Library world can be very airy.  It’s good to soar…but it’s time for your alchemist to get grounded.

Another 23 Things ‘N @ Interlude

This is too good not to share – this week the 23 Things ‘N @ crew is studying YouTube and Flickr. Once again, folks went above and beyond, and here’s the empirical proof: another summer reading video, this time from the Community Library of Allegheny Valley, Harrison:

Good Grieg!

Have a safe and happy Fourth, everyone. I’ll try to get back on track next week, before we launch once more into the ALA Chronicles…

Summer Reading 2.0

I couldn’t leave us on the last post’s lugubrious note – not when there are so many cool things afoot.

For example, one of our 23 Things ‘N @ participants created an awesome video to show off her library’s summer reading activities. Observe:

Hurray for Scott Township!  And trust me: you haven’t lived until you’ve tried a Frownie.

So many things I want to blog about, so little time! What I really want to write about, though, is reading 2666. I’ve finally finished it, and I have some thoughts about the process of reading it, given that it’s a 900-page unfinished novel in a Web 2.0 world.

My Alchemical Romance (Library Career Fangirling)

Much of this week has been occupied with matters database-related.  Next week’s 23 Things ‘N @ module is dedicated to the role of databases in a 2.0 world – it’s a little more philosophical than some of the other activities, but what I’m hoping is that it will get a good conversation rolling, countywide, about these resources, and how we purchase, use, and promote them.

I’ve also been doing the negotiation dance to get Mango Languages up and running.  One of the challenges of working in teams and across departments is that you want to make sure all solutions are win-win, and that, if somebody has to “lose,” it shouldn’t be your patrons.  I have achieved my objectives, and Mango will go live countywide on Monday.  I am extremely grateful to everybody I get to work with for making this happen, and hope they’ll enjoy learning new languages, too.  I’m planning to start, myself, with Chinese, so that I can watch Firefly without subtitles. :)

So, yes, it’s been hectic this week.  However, the good feeling I get when I manage to accomplish objectives that will make our patrons happy is priceless, and worth any stress/drama it took to get there.  I’m literally sitting here, grinning like an idiot, because in how many professions do you get to work on things that are for the public good, and make people happy?   That’s really important to me as a librarian, and it’s one of the things that sustains me during the current tough economic times (the company and help of my sterling peers is another, of course).

In other words, being a librarian still knocks me out, all the darned time, no matter what.  I get this good feeling in my heart, like it’s growing and expanding, when a plan comes together.  I’m pretty sure I can’t be the only person in the profession who feels like that, but I wish I saw more of the sentiment in library blogs.  Or maybe I’m just reading the wrong library blogs.

Is anybody else still as much in love with the library profession as I am, despite the challenges?  If you’re moved to leave a comment, or write about this in your own blog, that would be fantastic.  If anybody starts singing “Kumbaya,” though, I will turn this meme around, and we will all go home with no ice cream. :)

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, and hoping you have a pleasant weekend.  I’ll be back next week to talk a little more about library marketing and advocacy, since those twin bees have been buzzing around my bonnet for ages and ages, and are directly related to various projects I’m working on.

(Approximately) 88 Lines About 29 Bloggers.

This week on 23 Things ‘N @, the ultimate library reality show, our intrepid participants created blogs. Some were blogging for the first time, and others were taking the opportunity to add depth and breadth to their prior blogging experience.

In what may seem like a surprise twist to some, but not to me, a number of participants chose not to create a blog at all. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, part of the course does require starting a blog. On the other hand, folks who have concerns about privacy–and yes, Virginia, they do exist–have the right to opt out of any activity that makes them uncomfortable. And on that third hand, which most of us have not got, the sad truth is that between Pennsylvania’s library budget woes and the insane crush of increased activity the consortium’s seen since the economy went south, some of the participants simply don’t have the time to finish the exercise.

All that being said, those who did rise to the blogging challenge demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Allegheny County is full of creativity, talent, wit, and humor. The blogs featured below are well worth a visit, and if you’d be willing to encourage the bloggers with a comment, well, that would be right kindly of you.

Suzy, The Little Librarian asks an excellent question about blogging.

Cathy Behm is having fun with fonts…

Kara’s Universe is off to a thoughtful, yet still creative, start.

Don’t Panic is not just good advice, it’s a great blog!

The tech-savvy bibliokaren goes to bat for Allegheny County teens.

Regina’s Reactions is off to a strong start with an interesting observation.

i’d rather be quilting is an excellent 23 Things metaphor!

Nonsenssikl Skript makes excellent use of the letter “K.”

Dani’s 23 Things Adventure demonstrates depth (and cool design).

Marilyn Jenkins poses the excellent question, Where in the World are we Going?

Flying Monkeys With ADD wins at blog naming…

…as does Lost in the Future.

You can Just Add Text with Megan Fogt…

Or get your Penny Arcade references fresh off the griddle at meg’s 23 things.

Team Celery Stick gets into the act with Daughter to College….

…and I Heart String Cheese.

Debi’s Readit Blog looks like it’s going to be about books (woohoo!).

23 Things for Dinosaurs tells it like it is…

scottkids continues the motif…

and Sharon’s 23 Things shows signs of relief!

Helen’s Garden provides yet another lovely analogy (leafy green!).

Sha-poopie multi-tasks and works it.

Inside the Stacks is thoughtful and literary.

Natalie’s 23 goes above and beyond.

For a proud declaration, see I’m a Lifelong Learner.

Wilkinsburg/Marc sends you to a print source for clarification…

Take a peek at a normal day in the life of a librarian with library life, shelflisted.

In case you were wondering, Here’s Waldo!

Learning really is lifelong at Techie Grandma’s Blog.

I can’t even tell you how much it bugs me that time constraints forbid linking to some of the other fabulous blogs that bloomed this week. Feel free to drop by the 23 Things Blogs page on our official program wiki and do some exploring on your own.

Next week, the alchemist calls shenanigans! Stay tuned.

ETA/NB: There was a whopper of a lulu in the above, which I have since changed. This is yet another good reason not to try to tackle long posts on a busy day! Mea culpa, and my apologies.

Where I Blog, and What I Blog For

Week two of 23 Things ‘N @ is off to a strong start. Responses from participants have run the gamut from “No way am I blogging, I’ll sit this week out” to some really creative, fun blogs. Team Celery Stick has learned once again that some things that are very obvious to us frequently need to be explained in a different way, or done differently. We’ve also discovered that a number of participants retain a fondness for Douglas Adams, bless his soul, wherever he may be. But who doesn’t, really? :)

I feel like I can’t really take a CE credit for this week’s exercise, because I’ve been blogging for a long, long time, starting in my pre-librarian life, with one personal blog, and working up to now with, heaven help us, a personal blog, a professional blog, and two group blogs. Mercy.

But just because you’ve done something for a long time doesn’t mean you don’t have anything more to learn. And professional blogging is very different from personal blogging. So I thought I’d give my reasons for professional blogging and muse aloud a bit about it.

To demonstrate that it can be done

Given my workload, there is absolutely no way I could write every day, or do justice to half the things that go on around here.  That being said, I wanted to demonstrate to skeptics that it really is possible to keep a professional blog and still get all your other work done.  From the day I started until now, I’ve managed to balance collection development, refdesk time, database stuff, and more meetings than you can shake a very big stick at with, on average, twice-weekly entries.  Keep your fingers crossed that I can keep that up, and rest assured that, if I can’t, I’ll take breaks. :)

To keep track of my professional accomplishments

Writing and tagging has been really helpful when writing up my self-appraisals, updating my resume, applying for programs like Emerging Leaders, etc.  It’s also something public that my boss and peers can look at when they wonder, “What’s she doing when she’s not at the desk?”

To explore things that don’t make sense to me

As the quiz in last week’s 23 Things ‘N @ activity revealed, I’m a verbal-linguistic learner.  Writing things out helps me make sense and understand them.  Blogging about projects I’m working on, or making observations about other 2.0 issues, has helped me clarify for myself what I need to do now or next in any given situation.   I also get feedback from my CLP/county colleagues and other library professionals, which is awfully nice, and helps me reframe my thoughts and get over “stuck” places.

To become a better writer

Given how easy it is to blog, why not up the ante?  It’s simply not enough to have opinions - one must express them artfully if one is to make an impact.  I’m not foolish enough to believe that the ramblings of one librarian mean a hill of beans in this crazy world, but I think that if you’re going to speak publicly at all, you might as well take the opportunity to hone your craft so that the people who stumble across your work have a better chance of benefiting from it.  When I blog, I try to say things in such a way that my reader will be left with, at the very least, a smile on his/her face, if nothing else.

To express an under-represented point of view about Library 2.0

I ddin’t set out to do this on purpose, and I certainly don’t fancy myself some sort of Scarlet Pimpernel.  However, I started noticing, as I was reading Library 2.0 bloggers, that my experiences and opinions weren’t exactly lining up on the same page.  So I figured I’d better engage with that.  I find myself disagreeing with the “rock star bloggers” more often than not, not to be a pain, but because my experiences here–and those of my peers, and those of our patrons–are often so radically different from what’s presented as “normal” that I can’t, in all good conscience, NOT say something sometimes.

Print, for example, is far from dead, especially here in Pittsburgh.  Teaching folks about blogging and RSS is laughable when many of them are still annoyed that we got rid of our floppy drives and went to USB drives.  And don’t even get me started about Twitter when we spend so much of our time teaching folks what a URL is, how to sign up for e-mail, and how to apply for jobs online.  If I had a dollar for every expression of techno-confusion and bewilderment I’m met with, I could retire tomorrow.

I’m not saying we don’t have power users, and I’m not saying librarians shouldn’t learn about these things, because we do, and we should.  What I’m saying is that the professional digital divide is starting to really scare me, and now I know how the kids in the so-called “lower” reading groups must have felt, back in the day:  the “Cardinals” were frustrated with the “Robins” because the former wanted to charge ahead, and the latter still needed some time.  The “Robins,” meanwhile, felt like there was something wrong with them because they weren’t “Cardinals.”  And it ain’t necessarily so.

So I’m committed to continue speaking about what’s true for me and my peers and patrons, and I’m really hoping that 23 Things ‘N @ will encourage other Allegheny County librarians to do the same.   The more diverse the library blogosphere becomes, the better off we will all be, as professionals.  And more speech–provided it is responsible speech–is always better than no speech.  Long maywe all discuss, debate, and ruminate!

I’m sure my reasons for blogging will grow and change as my career does.  I have no idea where I want to go from here as a librarian, and I suspect I’ll probably be writing about that in months to come – for example, the next logical step “up” from where I am now is (eek) management, but “up” is certainly not the only direction there is (I’m secretly hoping that, like a quark, my next position will be “charmed”).

Later this week, the post-play on the presentation I’m giving tomorrow, coupled with some thoughts on the diplomatic art of setting boundaries and saying “no.”

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